The Wilderness Years

learn Jeremiah 17:5-8 Says: “This is what the Lord  says: Cursed is the person who trusts humans, who makes flesh and blood his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord .  He will be like a bush in the wilderness. He will not see when something good comes. He will live in the dry places in the desert, in a salty land where no one can live.  Blessed is the person who trusts the Lord . The Lord  will be his confidence.  He will be like a tree that is planted by water. It will send its roots down to a stream. It will not be afraid in the heat of summer. Its leaves will turn green. It will not be anxious during droughts. It will not stop producing fruit.

It had gotten to the point in our lives that we were trusting in the ‘arm of the flesh’ more than we were trusting in the Lord God, and our marriage was affected.  I was waiting for J.T. to take the lead spiritually, and he was waiting for me to be the person he married.  I was excited about God when we first met.  I was tired, unhealthy and burdened now.  We were not going the same way in our spiritual walk, because we weren’t putting Christ first individually.  We were not putting Him in the center of our marriage.

We were not out partying. We were praying and reading the Bible.  We just weren’t gathering together with other believers on a regular basis like we knew to do.  J.T. has said that I could share this.  We are in a very good place in our walk with the Lord and our marriage.  We are so very grateful for the good foundation that we have, and how faithful our Lord God is to us even when we aren’t.   J. T. use to call “churches” religious edifices and many of them are,  but the one that we attended did not fall in that category.  He was being stubborn, and I was being an enabler.

My husband had certain ideas, and it was what it was at that time.  I remember there was a time that I told him, “I love you very much, but I don’t like you right now.  I am going to start putting God first.  I am going  to church regularly.  I know that God said we were supposed to marry.  Divorce is NOT an option.  I will do this, and you can do what you want, but I am going to walk with the Lord in what He has called me to do.”  It was said without any emotion.  I was not crying and upset.  It was what it was.  It was a new beginning for me and our marriage.

It was one step at a time. The enemy did not like it.  I started going to church, and the kids started getting worse.  (I’m not going to be sharing that, because this is not about them.)  My health symptoms worsened.  I had to have ear surgery and was have numerous falls and vertigo episodes.  I was diagnosed with the tumor which ended up being cancer. (Shared in the previous post.)  But God….

J.T. started coming to church on Saturday nights with me.(We had Sat & Sun night services.)  He waited to see if I really meant what I said.  Hrrmmph!  That shows how up and down emotionally I use to be.  I do put that in the past tense, because I believe I’ve changed.  My husband tells me I have, and I choose to believe him.  We have been faithful to our church attendance, and Father God has shown us how to put Him first in our lives and our marriage. It is good. It is very, very good!

It says in Song of Solomon 8:5a ESV

“5 Who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved?”

This verse came alive to me when I was reading the Word.  He is so very good.  We have had tests since this time, but I believe this “wilderness experience” (For far too many years we kept taking a lap around Mount Sinai!) has taught me a very valuable lesson.  I will not put anything above God; I will not trust in my own wisdom;  I will not trust in man’s wisdom; I will not trust or wait on my husband to “hear from God for me”; and I will go to God for everything.  That is not to say there isn’t wisdom in counsel, but ultimately we are to seek God’s will in every decision.

We were rocking along pretty well for a few years.  The health issues were stabilized.  Sam was working and going to college.  We only had two dogs.  I was volunteering at church and loved it.  I got a call from J.T. one afternoon while I was at church that changed our lives.  J. T. said, ” I just want to give you a heads up.  I’ve been caught in the lay off. This Friday will be my last day.”    Out of my mouth came, “Hallelujah!  Texas Instruments has never been our source.  God is our source.  He will make a way.  Are you okay?”  He said, “Yes.  But they keep asking me if I need a taxi to take me home.”  We burst out laughing.  He worked in Dallas.  We lived in Denison.  That’s a 90 mile drive one way.  He told them no on the taxi 3 or 4 times. One thing we had said throughout the years was that God is our source financially.  So now what?  He always has a plan.

Will share more next time about the next step in the journey..

Blessings to you and yours!


plansareGods“The presence of God takes up residence in a person enabling them to live above human standards.  That is grace.” Bill Johnson


About itisnotaboutme

I am a wife and mother, but first of all a child of God. Walking by faith, His grace and His mercy. Learning how to bind my mind to the mind of Christ, my steps to the path He has called me to walk and my will to the Will of God. Every day I loose the old nature, attitude and thoughts off me. (Mt 16:19) I am dead and have been crucified with Him and have risen to new life in Him being a new creation in Christ.
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2 Responses to The Wilderness Years

  1. Marsha says:

    As with your former posts in this series – I love reading your story!

  2. I keep finding this thread that weaves throughout your blogs; you bring new light to me with your God Stories and your verse selections. How is it that you’re choice of verses always seem to fit into my story too? It’s a God thing; just like writing our blogs; it’s a God thing.

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