When I received the call from my son that Diana had been shot and killed, I thought it was domestic violence. He said her 19yr old daughter was crying so hard he couldn’t understand her. I called to get the facts from her ex-husband (who was her friend) and had spoken to her around midnight. It was true and it was self-inflicted.
We were all in shock. We knew she was in pain and depressed, but didn’t know it was this bad. Her friends told us later they had saved her a couple of times from taking her life. The investigator stated he knew her from previous calls to the home. Her sister, brother and I were not aware of the depth of pain she felt. They call it “psyche” pain. You can be depressed and not have psyche pain. But people that commit suicide most times are in such pain they just want it to stop.
Danyel was in Germany and I was in Texas and making plans was not easy. The first gift from God was the same vision He gave Danyel and I. Diana loved riding her bike, Betty. I had a vision of riding behind someone as we went to her beloved places. I thought it was Mt Ranier, but it was too cold to go up on the Mountain on bikes. We did ride in the car and go up to where she stayed for 9 months. Danyel had the exact same vision in Germany. We agreed we must go and started making plans. We had a Texas memorial, a private one for her children to spread the ashes and the bike ride/memorial at her favorite ‘watering hole’ Rock the Dock.
One issue was resolved regarding the money and tickets to fly up. My sister traded in frequent flyer miles for all three of our tickets. Sam, Danyel and I had round trip tickets thanks to her generosity. Our first answer to prayer. A place to stay was the next answer. A son of long time friends opened up their home to us.
We had been talking about Di’s beliefs or the lack of them. She had told many she didn’t believe in God. I remembered her as a child, though. She had accepted Christ into her heart and though I’m not necessarily of the belief “once saved always saved”….I’d been praying about this issue. I had felt this being said to me in my heart. “Don’t put me in a box of religion. You don’t know what Diana and I discussed in her heart of hearts during her quiet times of being alone. You are a spirit, have a soul (mind, will and emotions) and live in a body. Diana’s spirit was born again years ago. Her soul was tormented for years. And her body was dying because of what happened in the garden…and she chose to end the torment/pain. Suicide is not the unpardonable sin. Rest in ME. Know that I have Diana in the palm of my Hand.” I ran this past my pastors and they had no theological issue with it. Each one of us have to deal with things as they come. Diana was in pain and couldn’t handle the pain anymore. Period.
The story of the boxcar is the next “God” incident. We were leaving the place where the kids wanted to spread her ashes, and Sam said “Look!” We all saw the train across the street and the boxcar had CHEEKS emblazoned on it. And the amazing thing was the arrow on the letter “C” pointing up. Danyel, Sam and I jumped in the car and followed it down the road. We were amazed at where it ended up!!
This is the Boxcar (picture taken 4-6-13) with Diana’s last name of Cheeks. Sam Cheeks, and Danyel’s maiden name. I married Larry Cheeks. Note the arrow pointing up on the letter “C”… I believe a sign from above…:)
We followed the train and when it stopped, Danyel & Sam tracked the boxcar down. It was directly across the street from Rock the Dock. The place Diana loved and we were having the Memorial in her honor the next day 4-7-13.
I am amazed at how our Father God loves us. I loved her with all my heart and I prayed for her daily. I believe we have angels assigned to us for protection. We also have choices. Diana made hers through out her life. She certainly kept her angels busy, but her will ultimately over rode even her angels…..